bond vs bourne + simpson vs. hewitt

so today we're pitting some celebrities in death matches via blogger.

match #1





I saw the new Bourne Ultimatem movie on Saturday and it was off the chain. if Jason Bourne (aka David something something) ever battled James Bond, J.B. #1 would kick J.B. #007's arse-hole. I mean Bourne kills a dude with a towel and escapes by foot, while Bond has to use some fancy gun and a bulletproof car. yea so what, Bond gets the ladies...but it's just meaningless sex. I disapprove of his promiscuous escapades. I mean what about something more significant? and has anybody ever wondered whether Bond has some crazy bullet or fire proof "rubbers"? he must just run around getting chased and killing people, then jumps into bed with some sexy mama to have unprotected sex. so irresponsible!

match #2





I love Jennifer Love Hewitt. I rhymed...anyhow. she's a triple threat: beautiful, she can sing, AND she can act. I might even argue that she's a quadruple threat for being so smart to do all three at the same time. compare that to that trashy Jessica Simpson, who was dumb for leaving her ex-husband Nick, and can't sing cuz she's too dumb to memorize her lines. I'll give her credit for acting though, she acted real good in Dukes of Hazzard. and she might even be a little bit smarter for dating John Mayer, who also dated the smarter Jennifer Love Hewitt. phaw!

so my question is: who would you choose - Bond vs. Bourne? Simpson vs. Hewitt?